Scanning the net -- the entire net -- is now a thing. This talk will discuss how to do it, such as how to get an ISP that will allow scanning, tools to do the scanning (such as 'masscan'), tools to process results, and dealing with abuse complaints. We Internet, such as all the SCADA/ICS systems we've found. We've only scratched the surface -- the Dark Internet of Things is waiting for more things to be discovered. We expect the audience to have a working knowledge of existing portscanners, namely nmap.