Conflict can be a good thing, really. Without it, we get groupthink and dumbass decisions. But how we approach and resolve conflicts can make the difference between healthy conflict and an unproductive, frustrating fight. Why do we have so much of the latter? My graduate research on the conflict resolution style preferences of information security professionals sheds light on the “culture of no”: why infosec conflict so often results in fights, why we keep burning bridges to make a point, and why people can be unwilling to talk to us. More importantly, this research gives us ideas on how we can resolve conflicts without burning all the bridges – in other words, how we can begin to have nice things. (No hackers or statistics were harmed in this research.)