Eight years after 9/11 TSA finally decided to fix their security system. But what has really changed? Homeland Security's science division has been busy lately, and is currently polishing up a project called FAST - Future Attribute Screening Technology. FAST, part of project MALINTENT, is a project of the Department of Homeland Security Behavioral Science Unit, which supposedly can detect whether you want to blow up the plane purely based off of biological indicators. While it was originally slated for completion this year, the project has been delayed due to many technical difficulties. Starting to smell snake oil? Basic statistics and common sense agree! Methodological flaws, numerous exploits and better uses of tax dollars will be discussed.