Traditional proxies are a valuable tool for attackers, but have certain drawbacks. What if there were a way for attackers to proxy their traffic on systems which were unaware they were acting as proxies? What if these systems weren't logging the traffic? What if attackers could choose who would proxy their traffic? In fact, there are multiple ways to achieve these conditions. In this talk, we will discuss various methods for tricking third party systems into relaying attacks and being a "patsy" for attackers.