3AlarmLampscooter is an enigmatic armored mammal of the genus homo sapiens sapiens sapiens troglodytae found in caves and tunnels across the southeastern United States. As moderator of /r/Neutron, 3AlarmLampscooter’s activites include making lame physics jokes, not importing tritium in instant coffee bags from Thailand for DEFCON 23 Black Badges, developing 3D printed construction materials, and advocating transhumanism.