Sometimes the Internet just can't get you where you need to be. Whether for offense or defense, showing up onsite is often key to success. It's important to not screw it up. This talk, tentatively called 'borders for dummies', takes a look at successfully getting your (or your friend/colleague/whoever's) human body across an international border with minimal interruption to the necessary hax. A range of issues will be addressed including travel prep, what to expect at customs and best practices for when things go sideways. Expect war stories, gifs, and role playing exercises with possible audience participation. Oh and there might be puppets.