The year is 2020, and NASA struggles to deliver public-sector access to space while megacorporations are planning the colonization of Mars. “Hack the Planet” was thinking too small. As commercial enterprise expands in to space faster than regulatory bodies can adapt, the security and technology posture of space-based systems looks a lot like the wild west of the party line days of phone phreaking. On the ground more and more groups rely on satellite data links to connect critical infrastructure and deliver cat videos to isolated personnel, and in the air numerous non-government organizations are deploying remote sensing cubesats to orbit for science and profit. As the cost of RF equipment to engage these systems goes down, the likelihood that casual hackers will go after your space asset naturally goes up. This talk will examine the attack surface presented by space-based communications relays and sensing platforms. We will share our experience and some tips on how to build simple solutions to get started hacking the stars, then outline a few theoretical methods to defensively instrument the astroenterprise.