Your mom's cellphone has as much power and functionality as all the PCs at my old government job. Thousands of new smartphones are joining the network every month just begging to be made to run indiscernibly slower with just one more root level program. A botnet control scenario is presented in which smartphone bots receive instructions through sms that are processed by a proxy between the GSM modem and the application layer, making the botnet messages transparent to the user. An Android version of the bot will be shown in action, and proof of concept code will be released for multiple platforms.