Security incidents targeting corporations are occurring on a daily basis. While we may hear about the large cases in the news, network and security administrators from smaller organization quake in fear of losing their jobs after a successful attack of their network. Simple bad decisions and stupid mistakes in responding to a data breach or network intrusion are a great way to find yourself new employement. In this talk I'll show you in twelve easy steps how to do so after, or even during, a security incident in your company.