Have you ever started a binary analysis project with the thought “First I have to write an x86 or ARM disassembler”? Wait! Don’t do it! From A to Z, or darm to XED, there are many public disassemblers available to use. Some of them are even licensed without GPLv3. This presentation will rate the many disassemblers I have found over the years through googling, searching GitHub, and through recommendations from people on the internet. We’ll consider each with an eye towards their applicability to malware analysis and penetration testing. In addition to listing the pros and cons of publicly available tools, demonstrations of most of them will be shown so new users can start trying them quickly.