This is a down and dirty, humorous talk to help red and blue team members alike feel they can go to upper management with change. While it will include satire and plenty of memes, it gets to the point on understanding why the C-Level can’t be in the trenches, and examples of how to meet them where they stand. The talk will cover the good, the bad, and the ugly babies – from the point of view of a DFIR junkie who’s failed until they’ve succeeded. Come to commiserate about any-any’s, APT’s and Macs without boundaries; leave with a plan in hand to make the dumpster fires a bit less fiery.